I have a problem with my colleague(s).

The workplace is a small society in itself that you face every day, whether you like your job or not. You choose a particular job for a variety of reasons. It may be out of conviction, out of helpfulness, for your financial security, because it happened to come your way because you just didn't have a job. There so many reasons.

The only thing you can't choose are your work colleagues. They are there and you can't change that.

We all know that some people like you and others don't. In social interaction you can avoid people, but in the workplace it already becomes a little more difficult. Of course it depends on the work you do. If all people were the same, it would also be boring, don't you think? People are different in nature and have different perspectives in life. And that can then lead to some arguments or confrontations.

What do you do when you have a conflict with a colleague?

What you should by no means do is bury your head in the sand and hope it will blow over. Tension arises from different views on different subjects. And in the workplace, that is exactly what is needed to follow certain strategies. Disagreement doesn't go away if you hold your hands in front of your eyes. That did help when you were a small child: you held your hands in front of your eyes and said, I'm gone.

Recommended that you take the first step. Get out of your comfort zone. This is not a sign of weakness but of strength. It comes at the expense of your job satisfaction, perhaps productivity as well. Be the better person and leave your stubbornness in your sandwich box.

Examine what the problem is. Are you reacting to your first emotion regarding an issue? Is it perhaps your behavior that is getting in the way of a solution? Also, be honest with yourself and also with the other person. Ask what bothers him or her, and don't let yourself be led by feelings of a personal nature.

Don't take conflict personally either, because we all have that tendency. It is a matter of your own perception of how you see yourself in relation to the other person or the situation or subject. Va conflicts arise from communication or at least from the lack of communication.

Is there still no solution? Then you can call in a third party, and that happens more than you think as I describe here in a case study..

"Cynthia contacted me asking if I could help her with her work situation. She was a project manager on a team in a large marketing department and had two managers above her as she could nicely name it. It is important to listen as a coach to hear how the client expresses themselves. In this case, where one works as a team, she could also say that she worked with two managers. To her, these were "above" her. This was a first indication to come back to this.

She told me what this one and that one said, how they said that to her, she wondered what the managers thought of her and what her colleagues thought of her.

The image on the left was also the first thing I thought of. Some tensions had surfaced between some female colleagues. She was trying harder to show her worth, but the situation remained the same week after week.

I explained to her what perception or perception was. The why of our perception comes from a conditioned state made our own somewhere in the past by various factors such as parents, family, friends, school, etc. It was important for her to see that it was not the co-workers that were provoking conflict, but her perception from her personal feelings about her self-image. We then took an example from her practice and went over it.

Once she understood what I meant, she could place things and look at them differently. She became aware of her own perception and over time was able to put it into practice.

Some time passed and we then had further consultations.

She still works there and has a permanent contract."