Help, my partner is a narcissist!

It will happen to you that you notice that your partner has narcissistic traits. Usually, you don't notice it at the beginning of a relationship. You are in love and admire how he or she is in life. What your partner is capable of and how he or she expresses himself or herself towards others or in situations and about opinions.

What is narcissism and how do you recognize it?

Narcissism is a personality disorder that is not easy to recognize and it has two sides. On the one hand, there is the feeling of being bloated and central to anything and everything, and on the other hand, such people exhibit a status of insecurity and inferiority complex. Such persons need admiration and attention to consider themselves worthwhile. They feel they are worth more than others around them, feel elevated above others and will not shy away from "using" others to boost their self-esteem and feel good about themselves. A narcissist is also always right and knows no "defeat" in any respect.

Some characteristics include having no empathy, being addicted to attention, loving power, having a large ego, extreme jealousy, great lack of emotions, played charming and aggressive behavior can easily blend together.

From the other side, such people are also often lonely, have a sense of inferiority, and are very vulnerable. Outbursts of anger is usually a cover for the powerlessness they have inside. Therefore, it takes a lot of energy for them to be "great" and therefore they lose attention to their feelings and emotions.

Dealing with narcissism

What is generally true of all people with narcissism is that they often face problems in their lives at work and in intimate relationships. Biggest plans are then not fulfilled or colleagues are bothered by the egocentric and (subtle) manipulative behavior in which agreements are sometimes not kept. Partners and children of someone with narcissism also often feel unheard and unsupported, get little space to develop their own ideas or are sometimes even confronted with aggression. At times like these, when their "outside world" seems to be about to explode, the insecure and inferior side of the coin comes (even) more into focus. Anxiety, gloom and depression then lurk around the corner, and there is a chance that they will report to a therapist. And that doesn't happen quickly most of the time, so the resulting burdens are borne by those around them. These are then the people the therapist gets to see.

Differences between men and women

Not only men but also women can suffer from narcissistic personality disorder. Yet there are differences. Research shows that women often appear less dominant than men. They give the appearance of being sweet, caring and kind. Women are often a bit shrewder than men. A man has more of that primal phenomenon in his genes or DNA, dating back to the time of Genghes Kahn.